I often hear people say “get a life!” In fact, youngsters say it a lot. The truth is bandied around so freely it is not taken seriously. I mean, finally it is important to get a life that is your own, not your mother’s, your sister’s, your husband’s, or your best friend’s.

Often, when you look at an old photograph of the person you were, the person you are and equally often you dream of the person you want to be….there creeps in a lot of doubt, disappointment, denial and self-criticism.

We all nurture dreams and ambitions.

Whenever I work with a young adult group in theatre workshops, I ask them what they want to be.

Some want to be a lawyer, journalist, writer, doctor, football player, model, actor, businessman.

To be the best at anything, it is important to emulate the best. To learn from the best.

To be directed by the best. To have a role model. I read a lovely line in a book by Daisaku Ikeda, which said the mentor is like the earth and the disciple is like the seed growing out of that earth.

When it is nourished right, the seed grows strong roots and can reach tall and sturdy into the sky.

A mentor and disciple if well aligned are like the two wings of a bird, and then the sky is the limit.

Most people who break records, who excel at what they do, are pioneers in their fields. Struggle has taken them to where they are.

It is during those times of struggle that a guiding hand, taking care of you emotionally, physically, psychologically, keeps you in shape.

This is what stops the heart from feeling defeated and the spirit from giving up.

A defeated man is a sitting target. It is only a mentor who makes you look at adversity as a personal challenge, a need to push your human potential to its fullest. I knew this dancer who had a spinal injury. When she was past 70, she had a nasty accident. Her doctor was unsure of her recovery, but he never stopped topping up her life force.

Her accident forced her to redirect her energies inward, to become focused on her journey back into wholeness and health. She determined to dance and dance she did, much to her doctor’s surprise.

Her spine had broken, not her spirit. She herself was the teacher, and a teacher never gives up. The longest journeys start from the tiniest steps.

Just to wake up today and not feel the way you felt yesterday is a victory. The three greatest lessons I believe a mentor can teach one are: One, foster a sense of commitment. Two, never give up, to

persevere till the end. Three, turn misfortune and adversity into a springboard for growth.

All great teachers will also instil in you a sense of fair play, so that it is not in pulling others down we climb up, rather in steering the course ourselves!