To, theprimeminister

@bharatmata.com

Dear Sir,

I have no access to you directly, so I am sending an open email. I want to make public my intentions of standing for elections from my colony, “Chua Chowk”. The colony was renamed by an important minister, who said that men had shrunk to the size of mice. Of Men and Mice. He may be right that we are shrinking in stature. I say the human race is aspiring to shrink to a size zero. Tolerance has shrunk to size zero. Honesty has shrunk to size zero. Integrity is size zero. Courage is size zero. Social responsibility is size zero. I just thought a housewife could do some spring cleaning here and stretch things back to size!

Let me share with you how this idea came to me. I was walking in the colony and overheard a conversation. A man was saying that a reporter asked a pundit, “Do you pray for our politicians?” The pundit said, “No, I look at the politicians and pray for the country”. They burst out laughing, but I was set thinking. Of course, the next joke they cracked only derailed them further. A member of parliament asked Sir Winston Churchill, “Must you fall asleep while I am talking”. Winston Churchill said, with a straight face, “No, its purely voluntary”.

Jokes aside, for a day, I would like to be a member of Parliament. I see people in high places stealing, dealing, whining, bribing, conning, warning, molesting, violating. So, I think it’s time someone just told them to look at themselves first. Like a mother corrects her child, who has to! If you point a finger at someone, nine point back at yourself. So, no matter how shrunk in stature we have become, it’s time a chua took a stand; taking the road not taken (Thank you Robert Frost).

What really angers me is look how our politicians have become zamindars, the new landed gentry. For instance, prime property in Lutyens Delhi comprise of either offices for political parties or sprawling homes that house ministers. I mean, all this land that accounts for a fiscal deficit, if sold, could become a fiscal asset. At chua chowk, living in close proximity and one on top of each other fosters camaraderie. Someone needs to tell you that you need to layout a vision for a corruption free Bharat. You can turn the wheel of leadership such that the aam admi finds living comfortable. This is after all a complex and diverse democracy that is 66 years old and our republic day just celebrated, so it’s high time we change course a little. They say a human beings personality forms by the time he is 5 years old, now our Bharat has a personality all her own...and a fine one. Let no murky agendas stop her march into this century.

As a housekeeper, I am good at cleaning out dusty corners and cobwebs, terminating surplus staff, keeping an eye on the loose change, stretching the rupee and of course feeding the hungry. I do believe chua chowk could leave an impact on our next elections. I would be delighted if I could be emailed back at info@chua chowk.com.

Happy new year prime ministerji. Before I sign off, let me tell you a joke. One rat said to his friend, “You look almost like a man.” The friend squinted and replied, “So do you!”

(The writer is a theatre director and novelist)