It’s the little things that matter and anyone who says ‘No!’ is talking tiddle. If the rain comes down as you step out, washing out your files, doesn’t it hurt? If an insect falls into your soup, doesn’t it hurt? If the driver in the next car tries to ram into your car, it does irritate, doesn’t it? If your colleague gives you the cold shoulder, it hurts, doesn’t it? If your spouse forgets your birthday it hurts, doesn’t it? Sometimes even tinier things can upset someone. Like when someone walks into your space while you go for a walk. You know, an eager, bushy tailed neighbour who suddenly wants to have a chit chat because she is bored and you look free! As a race, we have little respect for others personal space.

Now let’s look at traits, seemingly too tiny in the larger scheme of things. Arrogance, cowardice, bullying, anger, fear. When people with these traits hit you with them, one can feel angry/bad/belittled/vengeful. The point here is we operate from a higher self and a lower self. That is the stuff God made us of. We need to always make that tiny shift, which makes us aware we are operating from our higher self. Responsible and willing to take onus for our own actions, thoughts, words, choices and lives.

A small start could be gratitude. Gratitude to our parents, to the universe, to our mentors and to all those who have enriched our lives. Recognising that debt of gratitude is an expression of an elevated soul, one who shines with an inner light. Such a tiny thing, to say ‘thank you’, to feel gratitude. This leads to appreciation. Appreciation and gratitude are the two arms of greatness.

Another small thing that we forget and which makes all the difference is a smile. We forget that tiny courtesies go a long way. I am guilty of this too, and a lot more. To smile at that old lady, the neighbour who hangs about the balcony waiting for Godot. At our grandmother who wants little else!

Showing respect to others, especially when we do not agree with them, is a tough one. My mother always said it is was more important to be kind than to be right. When you are young, you feel it’s important to be right, to be correct at the cost of kindness…(perhaps I am making a sweeping statement, perhaps young people are not as insensitive as I think. I do hope I am wrong.)

Let’s start now, thinking of the little things we do for ourselves, for others, for society. When your own life gets you down, connect to a friend, involve yourself in her problems. Extend a hand, a listening ear, that little act of living out of yourself, is an atonement itself.

It’s a helpline that finally finds its way into your own life.

(The writer is a theatre director and novelist)